


Comfort in the little things

by Ayuo



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Lullabies, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 08:17:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17199896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayuo/pseuds/Ayuo
Summary: Hoping he could sneak into their dorms after a hunt unnoticed, Baz finds out a sobbing Simon Snow is a way bigger problem than being discovered that he's a vampire.





	Comfort in the little things

**Author's Note:**

> I've recently re-read Carry On and usually I am the 70k words slowborn type of person, but my friend was feeling down and I wanted to cheer her up so I scrabbled some Snowbaz, I didn't really read through it so sorry if there's so typos
> 
> Enjoy!

Baz, if he would get a say it this, would claim that he is absolutely and undeniably fucked.

It's only his luck to sneak out when Snow finally fell asleep so he could hunt in the catacombs only to return to find the boy curled up on his bed, very much awake and clutching into his head tightly. He stops at his feet to realize that he has been caught red handed by no other than Simon snow, the boy who since their first year has tried to expose Baz for being a vampire. With a quick flash of panic he considered his next move: should he punch him? No, that will only get things worse, and he will  _ not  _ be the first Pitch to not finish Watford. 

But as his anxiety flown through him he realized that Snow was shaking, sobbing quietly into his knees without acknowledging or even noticing his presence. Now Baz was facing an entirely new dilemma whether he should just keep doing what he intended to: have a quick shower and crawl into bed, teasing Snow or ever entirely ignoring him, or should he try and help? 

As much as he wanted to ignore the git, how much he claimed he hated him his poor stupid vampire heart clenched in an annoying manner, how dare Simon snow cry like that? Who's to blame and how fast can he stab his fangs into their throat making sure no one else will hurt Simon snow ever again. Despite his clear distress setting his whole insides on fire Baz's well trained frown did not show it, closing the door behind himself he quietly stepped into the room intending on not getting involved even if it costs him his life,which is probably will, one day when Snow will kill him. But not now, he assured himself as he were about to step into the bathroom only to his horror and stupid overpowered vampire senses he heard Simon squirm, a heart wrenching sob which made Baz's body act before his brain could catch on quickly enough finding himself standing right next to his bed. “Snow?” He asked way gentler than he expected making the other boy jolt violently as if he's just been awoken from some sort of trance, his deep blue eyes looking ever more intense with the red rim around them his hair a horrible bronze mess making all the blood from today's hunt climb all the way up to his face. “Baz..?” His voice cracked and he rubbed his face down his sleeve, an action that would disgust him normally if Snow wasn't the most heartbreaking and vulnerable sight Baz has ever seen in his life. Quickly gathering himself up he sat on his bed across of the boy “can't sleep?” He didn't ask why he was crying, he couldn't. 

“Why do you care?” Snow frowned, suspicion now creeping between the clear sadness of his eyes. Baz would ask him the same question if he hadn't dealt with his stupid smitten mind each and every day, loving Simon Snow is the most helpless and stupid situation Baz has ever been struck in, and he has been turned into a vampire as a kid. “I don't.” He said simply, wishing his poker face wouldn't expose his true feelings “but we're sleeping in the same room and I cannot find said sleep when the light is on.” Snow grumbled rolling his bloodshot eyes “I'll turn it off then.” Shifting his weight to get up Baz felt an another flash of anxiety pass through him, every inch of his body wished for Snow to be better right now just so he could make it worse for him tomorrow, but not right now, not when he's this soft and broken, not with the things he does to his heart. “Snow wait.” He blurted out without thinking instinctively grabbing his hand just to keep him from leaving. “What's wrong? You're not giving a fight.” With Snow's warm hand in his Baz could feel his trembling more vividly, he then immediately let go feeling himself flush, damn, he really went in on those rats today. “A fight? Are you serious right now?” Snow whispered clearly trying to suppress a sob “not everything's about fights Baz! Sod off.” He grabbed his blankets and turned away from him, but Baz could hear him sobbing. “What's this about then? What happened?” He found himself asking, every nerve of his body screaming at him but his shouldn't yet his voice was soft filled with too much care Baz wouldn't be ready to expose if Snow was facing him. A heavy silence fell on the room making Baz twitch uncomfortably, he's right there in front of him all clutched up and shaking and he can't find the will power within himself to help, to aid the one he hates to love this much, it's brutal and unfair, he should leave Simon alone to mop- cry under his blankets all he wants! Just so he wouldn't hurt as much tomorrow, just so there will be someone for Baz to torment. He is the one who can hurt Snow, the only person (or vampire) who has the right to bring him to tears and nothing else. 

“Nightmares.” 

His train of thought was cut off by a mere mumble so quiet a normal non-vampire person could ever hear, but Baz did and this word brought buzzing silence into his loud head. “What kind?” He found himself asking, seeing Snow's shape inhale deeply under the covers “Humdrum” he choked, twisting into a tiny little ball that made Baz's stomach drop.  “he keeps coming into my dreams lately.. I-” the ball of Simon Snow twisted deeper into himself making him look even smaller “I am going to die one day- he's going to kill me, I know he will.” 

Baz just listened, his chest heaving remembering all these times when the insidious Humdrum attacked their home sending numerous dark creatures to finish Simon Snow once and for all.

“He won't.” Because I'll kill him first. Baz thought to himself, standing up from his bed slowly approaching Simon like a scared animal, immediately regretting his life choices as he let his weight sink into his bed startling the boy as Baz sat on the edge, Baz was quicker though, pushing his hand to hold Simon's head in place just so he won't look at him, powerful yet not so violent as he knows he could do not willing to harm the boy further feeling his cold fingers melt against soft bronze curls. “Nothing is going to kill you Snow, trust me, I've tried.” 

He noticed that this time Snow's shaking was a soft chuckle.

“Nightmares are terrifying” he said softly, letting his fingers slide a little further down his head resting gently at his nape “but remember Snow, I've been trying to kill you for seven years straight and never succeeded, and I'll not let anyone else bring you your demise.” And also I love you, with all my heart, and would never let anyone hurt you. He didn't say that part out loud, be the thought crashed into his head like thunder. “You should sleep, at least for now, as long as this room keeps you safe within these wards safe from me and the outside world.. safe from the Humdrum.”

“I'm never safe.” Snow muttered, but Baz noticed he was no longer crying, just sleepy.

“You are now.” Baz whispered, his chest overflowing with warmth he didn't know be owned his pale fingers stroking Simon's head with care he would never put to words. 

He remembers having nightmares as a kid when his mother was still besides him, in the same nursery where he lost everything that was ever important to him, she would kneel besides him her eyes tired and a little wrinkled with age yet still so mesmerizingly beautiful, she would run he scratchy hands through his hair and sing to him a forgotten lullaby so strong it would make the whole sky light up with ageless magic:

 

_ “You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey”  _

 

He didn't know what brought him to courage to sing this, a low memory filled hum just turned into words making Snow gasp quietly, but he didn't speak, didn't tell him to stop, so Baz went on

 

_ “The other night dear as I laid sleeping I dreamed I held you by my side _ _   
_ _ When I awoke dear I was mistaken and I hung my head and cry”  _

 

When you think about it, Bronze curls are always mesmerizing under the sunlight, but there was nothing more beautiful that their softness under the cold moonlight guided by loving fingers and a quiet voice. Baz knew he's not a good singer, he had his way with the violin instead.

 

_ “ You'll never know dear how much I love you..”  _

 

He almost stuttered, but then noticed how Snow's breathing has slowed down in a soft rhythm one he came to know as the sound of him sleeping. The warm feeling didn't leave his chest but a painful grip accompanied it; he will never know how Baz is feeling, he will never tell him.

But just for now, just for today

He will let himself be known.

The insidious Humdrum might as well crash the sky down on them but he will keep Snow here besides him, safe and warm under the covers, reminding him how nothing will ever be able to defeat Simon Snow.

 

_ “please don't take my sunshine away” _

 

He won't let him take him away, the Humdrum can send all the dark creatures he wants, the made might claim him as his own, his heir

The chosen one, the undefeated threat and a blessing to the world of mages lying right here at Watford, a place which took his mother away yet gave him Simon and he will not let go of what's important, not this time.

Recalling how his mother always ended her lullabies, Baz took the courage to lean down just this once reassuring himself that he will never let himself be vulnerable in front of Snow ever again, pushing his bangs up Baz pressed a soft kiss into his temple, Simon was warm everything in this bed smelling like him; a living fire who Baz can't give in but melt inside of. 

Looking down at his now calmly sleeping figure there was one thing Baz knew for sure,

That he is absolutely and undeniably fucked.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Please don't take my sunshine away.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading <3 !


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